Is marriage really a Fairytale?

We’ve all done it. We watch the Notebook, or any Nicholas Spark movie….and suddenly we turn to our spouse thinking “does he even love me?”

Or maybe you have a better grip on reality and for you it’s looking at someone else’s Facebook post, their family just built a beautiful new house or went on a weekend getaway. Their husband brought them flowers just because, they went on a date night, or whatever it is.

So you start to pick apart your marriage, have we lost the flame? Why don’t we do stuff like that? Does my husband really love me?

I do it all the time, I read a romance novel or watch a romantic movie and I yearn for that whirlwind, you’re a bird, I’m a bird romance. I wonder why my husband doesn’t bring me flowers every week or why we don’t feel compelled to ballroom dance in our house and post gushy Facebook posts all the time.

The Bible tells us that love is patient, kind, it doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, it endures all things.

I think we make marriage into something it just isn’t, marriage is not supposed to be all consuming, it isn’t supposed to fulfill our ever desire for passion and hope. We are trying to make marriage into our Savior. We try to hold our spouses to a Christ-like idol, who should fulfill our every desire and live their lives to prove their love to us.

When we compare our marriages to the movies and to others highlight reels, we expect our spouses to be Christ. We expect them to make every right choice, to love us unconditionally, to move mountains to please us, to perform acts of kindness, selflessness, and grandeur for us. We put all of this onto our spouses. And when they fail, we wonder if they even love us at all.

I get mad at my husband so often for things I fail at daily. I get mad at him for forgetting something I have told him 100 times, for letting his phone distract him when I am trying to talk to him, for wanting something different for our life than I do. The very same things I do to Christ all the time. I expect more from my husband than I do of my own relationship with Christ most days.

What if Christ loved us like that? What if He put us in the dog house every time we missed church like a date night? If He threatened to not speak to us or give us the silent treatment when we messed up or disappointed him?

God doesn’t love us like that though. He give us so much grace, so much kindness, so much understanding. When we fail, He treats us with compassion. He has faith in us, He forgives us, and He doesn’t hold grudges. He gave us the perfect example of a Biblical marriage, one that is full of kindness, forgiveness, compassion, endurance, and faith.

When I hold my marriage to a Biblical standard instead of a movie standard, things become much more clear.

Love is patient.

My husband endures my moodswings, my inability to remember to put the towel on the rack instead of the end of the bed no matter how many times I promise to remember. He is patient with me.

Love is kind.

My husband tells me I am beautiful when I pick apart everything I hate about myself. He encourages me when I feel like I am not doing enough. He supports my hobbies and passions. He is so kind to me.

Love doesn’t envy.

My husband doesn’t get jealous, not because he doesn’t love me, but because he loves me so much that he is fully confident in our commitment to each other. He reminds me and proves to me every day in his hard work that we will reach all of our goals, when the time is right for us, we will achieve them together. My husband doesn’t envy.

Love doesn’t boast.

My husband speaks well of me to his friends. When someone asks what I do for a living and I say I work at a church, he is quick to jump in and say I am the Director of the youth and childrens ministries, he tells them that I also work freelance doing social media for a small business. He is proud of me. He doesn’t constantly post on Facebook about how perfect our life is or how great we are. My husband doesn’t boast.

Love endures all things.

My husband and I have endured quite a few hard times in our few years of marriage. We have moved 4 times in 4 years, we had our first child, we have lost and changed jobs, our daughter has been in the hospital, and most recently we have been in the midst of a pandemic. We have endured all things, maybe not always perfectly, but we have endured them and loved each other through them.

Do we do all these things at all times? No. We fall short all the time.

But we work at it. Hard. I get mad when we have the “same fights” all the time.

But then I am grateful, grateful that we are both willing to have the same conversations, both willing to talk through it again to try to find a different approach, to better understand each other. I am thankful that we are striving towards a Biblical marriage rather than a cinematic one, because that will outlast the movies and fairy tales by a long shot. Our marriage may not inspire a movie, but it will glorify God.

Marriage isn’t a fairy tale, but it is beautiful. My husband brings me coffee in the morning on the weekends, he lets me sleep in on Saturday and Sunday so I can get a break, even though he wakes up before sunrise on weekdays to go to work. He helps me with housework, he cares more about organizing our daughters toy room than I do.

He and I have been patient, resilient, and trusting each other as we grow into the adults we were meant to be. We have failed each other in so many ways, but we have tested each other, we have fought each other, but we have loved each other. After every fight, every battle, we have believed in each other and our marriage enough to keep fighting for our marriage.

We have chosen each other on the other side of every fight, and I call that faithfulness.

Fairy tales cannot hold a candle to the kind of love Jesus wants for us.

He wants us to strive to love each other the way He loves us, and we cant expect our spouse to be Jesus, because Lord knows we cannot live up to that standard either. But if we try to love each other the way Jesus taught us, and show each other the grace Jesus shows us, we can find so much beauty, so much love, so much promise in our marriages.

Adult ADHD and why you should talk to your doctor.

This summer on July 17th I had a doctor appointment. I was at a point where I was just sick of how I was feeling. Nervous to go, because honestly I didn’t know what I was going to say. How do I list symptoms that aren’t really symptoms but more like personality traits?

Earlier in the day I tried to write out the main things I was struggling with, and have been struggling with for a really long time.

Tired? No, more like exhausted and completely unmotivated 85% of the time.

Depressed? No, not really depressed, just really anxious and feeling like I get nothing done and am failing. Which made me want to just do nothing because I couldn’t seem to get anything done, I felt like I was letting everyone down and just didn’t know where to start on getting any of it together, so I did nothing.

Anxiety. This one I was sure of. Because I feel like I am failing, and because I always seem to be a few steps behind on what I am supposed to be doing, I NEVER can grasp exactly what people’s expectations are of me unless they spell it out really clearly to me. Is there a word or symptom that sums up “at first people think I am smart and capable and should be succeeding in life, but then I feel like a giant let down because I cant seem to accomplish any real goals?”……I would find out later, that yes, there is something that sums that up perfectly.

Moody? More like sometimes I completely don’t care about anything and then my husband can not say hi to me within the first 2 minutes of him being home and I am crying the rest of the night. My moods are really hard, if I am sad, I am really, devastatingly, overwhelmingly sad. If I am happy, I am 100% optimistic, swept up, nothing-can-go-wrong happy. If I am stressed, I am nearly debilitated. I have always had to call my mom to talk through things because I can’t ever seem to talk through my emotions internally like most people do. I have gotten better at “handling” this and not letting the emotions show, but I will think about something that happened, good or bad, and play it over and over in my head.

Overwhelmed and Underwhelming. I always feel overwhelmed, like there is just entirely too much to do. Even when I make a list, organize myself, get it all lined out, STARTING feels like an impossible threshold to cross. In college when I had papers to write, I would wait until the last possible minute before I started. The papers usually ended up getting good grades, but it was a process that bled into things like studying, and retaining information while cram studying doesn’t do me ANY good. So even though I felt like I had all this promise growing up, “smart”, impressive test taker, I could talk-the-talk and make a great impression in every setting, but as far as walking-the-walk, it was more like stumbling, crawling, uni-cycling, falling head first. Even if I managed to pull off what I needed to do, I felt like a fraud and in a constant state of overwhelm.

These were the main things. I wasn’t sure I could even articulate these to my doctor without feeling and sounding crazy.

So I went in and explained to the nurse that I was struggling, and wasn’t sure what the cause was. She asked for symptoms, I started with the easier ones first.

“I’m just really tired.” I said. Trying to hold back tears, because tired doesn’t really cover it.

“Okay, and are you sleeping?”

No, not really. I lay awake playing on my phone until my body feels like it can settle, which can take 4-6 hours of laying in my bed.

“When was your daughter born?”

2017, she sleeps fine though. Like, 12 hours a night fine. Other than the occasional wake up early day, she is a sleeping champ.

“Okay, what else is going on?”

Cue: word vomit.

“I just feel like I am not getting anything done, I work full time, I am a mom full time, and a wife. My house is a wreck because I start cleaning and stop halfway through and forget to finish. I cant sleep, I get nothing done during the day, I am exhausted and unmotivated, but not I-need-a-nap tired, just I-don’t-want-to-do-anything tired. And my OB put me on anti-depressants after I had my daughter but they didn’t help and made me feel worse.”

[I think I forgot to mention that before..whoops! In 2018, right after having my daughter I had explained a lot of these stymptoms to my OB, who thinking I had baby blues, put me on Citalophram, starting at a 20mg dose, after a month I felt even worse, she upped the dosage to 40mg, same thing. No improvement, I actually felt WORSE. So I stopped taking them.]

The nurse then looked at me and asked “Have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?”

I swallowed. No…I think my mom said she wanted to have me tested when I was in elementary school, but I wasn’t doing bad in school or causing a lot of trouble.

“Did you get told you talked a lot?”

That’s an understatement. I used to talk constantly and interrupt my teachers. I still talk to much, and interrupt, but I have really tried to stop because it’s embarrassing.

“Have you always had trouble setting goals, following through on things, and processing your emotions?”

…Yep. I’ve always kind of thought that was just my personality. Good ole’ Katelyn, doesn’t follow through on any dream, doesn’t remember any of her promises, generally just not a super responsible or reliable person. No matter how much I care about the dream, promise, or person. I just cant seem to remember to remember them.

“I’m going to go talk to the doctor and I’ll be right back.”

Didn’t really make sense, aren’t people with ADHD bouncing off the walls with energy all the time? Because that is definitely not me, it takes me a week to recover from socializing over the weekend.

So, I waited for the doctor to come tell me that I was depressed, or put me on anxiety medication, or tell me I was fine and just needed more Vitamin D.

The nurse came back in and gave me a sheet of paper.

“He wants you to take this test real quick, just answer true or false.”

I looked down at the paper and began answering the questions. It was like reading my diary for a lot of the questions.

A lot of them were scenario and personality type questions. I felt really embarrassed for some of them because it felt like circling yes, even though it was true, was basically saying I was a lousy functioning adult.

I finished the test, gave it back to the nurse, and then sat back.

I knew what this meant. If they give you a test and you have to answer almost all the questions with a yes, that usually means that the answer is yes to whatever they think you have.

The doctor came back in pretty quickly and went back over some of the questions with me, asking me to explain with experiences or scenarios.

I remember a really sympathetic look in his face. We love our doctor. He made me feel a lot less embarrassed.

When we got to the part of our discussion about the whole baby-blues, depression medication thing after my daughter, his expression changed.

“Who was the doctor? Your family doctor?”

“No, my OBGYN. It was a check up after having my daughter.”

“Well, that makes a little more sense.”

He sighed and said “you have adhd, I don’t think you are depressed, or sad. ADHD can make it nearly impossible to motivate yourself to get things done and in turn is probably very frustrating for you. You’re tired because your brain goes in a million different directions with no gas to prioritize which way to go. So you feel very tired, stressed, agitated, and moody because your brain doesn’t process everything the same way most people do.”

“So….I have a brain disorder???”

He smiled, “You just have a different way of processing things, I want to put you on medication and give you some materials to look over, and I think you will start feeling a lot better.”

He told me about Vyvanse, explained that it would help me focus my energy and be able to prioritize to get more things done. That medication, in combination with some research, learning tricks for my brain, and changing my habits, could help me be more productive, less tired, and less stressed.

So, we filled the prescription. I took the materials he gave me and went home.

Now, it’s November. It has been 4 months since my diagnosis, 4 months on medication, and 4 months of a serious change in my life.

I don’t want to sound over-dramatic here, but there really isn’t another way to say what the last few months have been like. So to spare the word vomit, I am going to give you a quick overview of what my last few months have looked like.

First few weeks- I got a lot more accomplished. The first few days were really interesting because I felt like I had soooo much energy, which helped because we were in the midst of moving (different blog post). A surprising difference was also my mood. I was more patient with Zoe, it didn’t frustrate me so much when she didn’t listen or when she interrupted a task I was on.

After two months- Huge difference. I had the added benefit of going through a psych evaluation during this time for a ministry process I am going through. Going through such personal questions, I had to ask my evaluation host if I was supposed to answer based on current situation or before my diagnosis and subsequent medication and changes. It was during this evaluation that I realized exactly how different things had become.

After three months- By no means will I say I was a powerhouse of productivity but habits were starting to form, and when I made a to-do list and prioritized, those things got done. As a result, our finances, my work, our home life and relationships, were all definitely getting a lot better.

Now, at 4 months- Like I said, I can’t say that I am a completely different person. But I can sure as heck say that I am incredibly excited to see where I am a year from now. It is still taking some time for me to adjust habits and schedules. But I will say a lot of that probably has to do with all the other changes going on in our lives that we are adjusting to. I can also say that 6 months ago I could not have imagined a time where I would be getting up every day between 6:30-7:30 AM, getting Zoe and myself ready, making breakfast, getting her packed and ready for school, and then bringing her to school and myself in my office before 9AM and then working all day, getting home and taking care of house things, keeping an excel sheet of our finances, painting, crafting, DIY-ing things for our home, and all the other things that I have always wanted to do but could not seem to get myself to do.

So, at the end of this long post. Why should YOU talk to your doctor?

I am by no means a doctor, but I am an advocate for adults with ADHD. Especially women.

If you have ever been diagnosed with baby-blues, anxiety, depression, and put on medication that didn’t help, or feel like you are stuck in a never ending rut of having the best intentions with no motivation to follow through on them… talk to your doctor.

I am incredibly thankful that I was diagnosed. Even more thankful that I was diagnosed in a time where there is SO much information out there that you can read. I am linking some of my favorite resources here below, including a “test” that you can take to see if you might need to go talk to your doctor about ADHD.

I am thankful that my doctor took time to look past the easy diagnosis of depression and anxiety, especially because I am a woman. I have heard so many stories of doctors that were way less interested in discussing Adult ADHD, so if you feel like this resonates with you, bring your information with you. Advocate for yourself!

It is okay to seek an answer, it is okay to advocate for yourself, it is okay to want to feel better.

If you think you have ADHD, my inbox is always open.

My heart has been broken open for all the women that think they are less of a person, less of a mom, less of a wife, because they have never been diagnosed, or misdiagnosed.

My next post will be all about medication, diet, and habits that I have changed since my diagnosis!

Until then, thanks for sticking with me through this journey. I am praying for all you out there that might have related with any part of this.

Until next time,


My favorite ADHD Resources


I Have ADHD Podcast

A list of Adult ADHD Symptoms


Another great resource and test

How To Start Your Side Business

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do? Maybe not a job necessarily but something that you love to do and wish you could make a little money doing it to be able to afford to take it further?

For me, it’s photography. It isn’t a dream job for me, it isn’t necessarily what I envision doing for the rest of my life, but I love it. I genuinely love taking beautiful pictures of people and editing them. However, I have never had hundreds of dollars laying around to buy a fancy camera and editing software. What I do have is an iPhone XS Max, the light room app on my phone, and access to YouTube and Google.

So I just went for it. I started with pictures of my sister, then I just posted on Instagram stories to see if anyone was interested. 2 people responded, then I created a photography Instagram page and a Facebook page. Now I’m doing a few shoots a month, making enough money to buy some more editing software, and hopefully eventually buy a nice camera. But the funny thing is I have put the camera on the back burner because I am loving my little niche of iPhone photography.

By just going for it I was able to wiggle into a space of photography that I haven’t found many people doing. I am able to do something I really love and offer it to people at a way cheaper cost. Most of my packages range from $40-$80.

Rachel Hollis says “everything you need to know to start your business is available, RIGHT NOW, FOR FREE, on the internet”. So I googled, Pinterested, Instagram, and Youtubed everything I could to learn about iPhone photography and editing pictures. That’s also how I learned to do everything with my blog.

I didn’t take lessons, didn’t pay for courses, I just did what I could with what I had.

So how can you turn your hobby into a side business?

First thing, I would look at what you already have. Do you love to paint? Try painting cheap/free things you find, offer to paint walls, murals, whatever you have accessible to you.

Do you really love fashion? Go to thrift shops, get your materials from people’s old clothes. Research on pinterest for free patterns and ideas.

Party planning? Start asking people if you can help them plan their parties, offer it for free at first to get some experience. Maybe ask to see if you can work under an established party planner to get your feet wet.

Maybe it’s cooking, organizing, decorating, writing. Whatever it is, start with what you have, be willing to work for less until you have more experience, find your niche. Some of the coolest businesses come out of people just working where they are with what they have. There are etsy shops with just hand painted thrift store coffee mugs because that is what that person had readily available and people LOVED them.

Whatever it is, if you love it, if it gives you passion, makes you excited, GO. FOR. IT. Start. Today. Right now.

Your passions are a God given gift, spread your gifts with others. Don’t worry about the money, don’t get caught up in growing your business as fast as you can. Just give it all you can and just enjoy doing something you love!

Comment below what YOUR passion is!

How a book changed our finances and cleaned my house

Recently I read the book “The Latte Factor”, actually, I listened to it on audible. That is where I tend to get most of my book listening done, in the car, doing dishes, wherever I can multitask.

So this book is pretty short and to the point, I finished it in a few days during car rides to church and the grocery store. It was really attention-grabbing from the start and I thoroughly enjoyed the writing style and the narrator (you have no clue how many books I have returned to audible because I didn’t like the voice of the narrator).

After finishing this book, I was dumbstruck. How in the world did this short book change my outlook on finances and motivate me to clean and purge my house, and take away tons of stress from my shoulders?

The book follows a story of a girl named Zoe (also the name of my daughter), who is living a pretty normal paycheck-to-paycheck life. She meets a many in a coffee shop and by the end of the book basically has financial peace and is traveling the world. With a whole lot of things in the middle of those two things.

I can’t give away all the details, the book is like $10 on amazon, 1 credit on audible, which you can get for free using the link at the bottom of this post. Just grab it, rent it, borrow it, and soak in all the goodness for yourself. But I will tell you the basics on how this shifted my way of thinking in a really big way.

So basically in this book Zoe (the main character, not my one year old) has this vision for her life, it starts with this painting she wants but cannot “afford”. She is stressed about living paycheck-to-paycheck, not being able to afford more despite making a decent living. She is tired of living like this and thinking about taking a job that pays more but will require more of her time and a lot more stress. However she meets a guy in a coffee shop who breaks down finances for her and explains money in a way that I have never, EVER heard before.

So here are some lessons I learned from this book, I HIGHLY recommend reading it for yourself.

  1. Time = Money

So this one seems cliche, but hear me out. In this book, your job, your hourly pay, is broken down into time increments. This concept introduces an alternative to “budgeting”. Instead of trying to micromanage your finances, this concept allows you to truly to see what you CAN afford and what you should be trying to spend on each category. This changed the way I think about my finances, my job, and my time. Because most people, like the main character in this book, try to make more money to fit their budget instead of budgeting their time and fitting your budget to your current finances. It can be a never ending cycle trying to generate more income to create wiggle room in your budget, instead of creating wiggle room in the income you already generate.

How do you do that? By prioritizing WHAT you are spending money on. What are the little things you are spending money on without thinking about it. When you start to compare small things to big things, like your lattes=dream vacation…that is a huge mindset shift. This was one of the biggest shifts for me.

2. Priorities In Finances are IMPORTANT

So going a step further, this book really makes you realize what your priorities are because it asks the question “what do you really want in life?” It makes you lay out your priorities and what you truly want.

For me at least, when you start thinking about what you really, really want in life and how that plays into your finances it’s huge,

For us, we want to be debt free; to not be living paycheck-to-paycheck, to have freedom to have fun experiences together, and to give our daughter an amazing childhood with great experiences.

So when you start to make comparisons and choices like do I want $20 take out or do I want to pay debt off. Do I want to get my nails done or do I want to take my daughter to the museum. Do I want another phone case or do I want some wiggle room in our budget in case something comes up?

That obviously doesn’t mean we will never make those choices and get take out (we had Hardee’s tonight), but it’s such a mindset switch in the frequency and what we really want to be spending money on and what it means every time we make a purchase. It has been a game changer for us. Like just making the decision to only eat out a set amount of times per month. And making that decision with a PURPOSE. That if you don’t eat out a few times that can add up to $100 that you can put towards one of your main goals.

3. Quality Over Quantity

My last epiphany with this book is one I thought I already knew but reading this book was like pressing focus on a camera lens that was blurry.

I think we all know that having quality is better than having sheer quantity, but what does that really look like. To me it meant saving up for the nice eyeshadow palette instead of buying the crappier ones from the drugstore. But what if that could be applied to your whole life?

What if once you have your priorities together, you could make financial decisions ALL based on quality over quantity. Like skipping the morning coffee, pack a lunch, avoid amazon, skip the energy drink on your way home. Then buy the amazing dinner that comes with a side of sanity because you don’t have to cook or do dishes. 1 purchase that day, quality over quantity.

Or maybe you scale down the purchases across the board and put that money aside towards a vacation, instead of the mini vacations to the Sonic drive-thrus. Quality, over quantity.

This also is the epiphany that led me to clean my entire house and purge all the things. Because when I really became convicted by this quality over quantity thing in conjunction with the priorities for finances idea, I started thinking…my house is overly cluttered, it’s literally the epitome of QUANTITY over quality.

And I began thinking that our cluttered, messy house with every nook and cranny filled, makes me feel nuts. It feels crowded and makes me want a bigger house. So bringing in the fundamentals we learn in this book, I thought, “how can I create more wiggle room in the house I have instead of trying to find a bigger house and having to make more money to afford if?”

So just like with the budget, I cut out the extras that don’t compare to my real priorities. I cut the target dollar spot directions from 5 years ago that I really don’t love. I let go of every piece of clothing that I haven’t worn in the last year and the ones that don’t make me feel amazing.

I am still in the process of purging but y’all, I am loving the process. There’s more wiggle room in my house, and it didn’t cost me more money. I created wiggle room in the space instead of creating space for the wiggle room.

So why the cleaning? This may have just been a cleaning but I picked up, but I’m going to say this is linked too. I started cleaning and getting crazy because I realized that I’m a person who buys things to make my space look nicer (cue all the throw pillows and candles) but my house will never look nice if it looks like there’s a tornado path through it. So I took to cleaning, I cleaned out things I don’t really like and that we don’t need or use. And I’ve been cleaning and organizing, because the more I clean and organize and declutter, the better my home looks and feels.

The bottom line is that I want to make my life one of quality and stop worrying about the quantity of my things. I want to invest in things that last and enrich our lives. I want to hate beautiful experiences with my family; including the experience of not stressing over finances. That’s quality.

So that’s just a few of the things I have learned from this book. Next on my reading list is “Smart Couples Finish Rich” also by David Bach. I have no doubt it will be just as amazing as the first!

If you read either of them please let me know how you like them, drop me a comment below and let me know how you’re implementing the things you learn!

For the woman who’s sad about her past.

Mark 5:1–20 (ESV): They came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gerasenes. 2 And when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit. 3 He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, 4 for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. 5 Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones. 6 And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him. 7 And crying out with a loud voice, he said, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me.” 8 For he was saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” 9 And Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” He replied, “My name is Legion, for we are many.” 10 And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country. 11 Now a great herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, 12 and they begged him, saying, “Send us to the pigs; let us enter them.” 13 So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out and entered the pigs; and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned in the sea.

14 The herdsmen fled and told it in the city and in the country. And people came to see what it was that had happened. 15 And they came to Jesus and saw the demon-possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. 16 And those who had seen it described to them what had happened to the demon-possessed man and to the pigs. 17 And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region. 18 As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. 19 And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” 20 And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled.

Okay, bare with me, because that is some seriously weird scripture. Arguably the weirdest, even surpassing Abraham marrying his sister. (Read the Bible guys, it’s some juicy stuff.)

So let’s try to break this down a little bit, basically there’s this guy. He’s demon possessed, going crazy, and then Jesus comes to town. Jesus drives out the demons into a heard of pigs and they then commit suicide. Which isn’t really relevant to my story here but it’s just so crazy I couldn’t leave it out.

So these men are past the point of saving in most people’s eyes. They are just going mad with the evil consuming them. And Jesus saves them.

Why is this story different than other redemption stories in the Bible? Because after Jesus saves them, they want to go with Him, and Jesus tells them no. He tells them they must stay and let people see what He has done.

When I look back on a few years of my life I feel like those men. So far gone that I was begging Jesus to save me. When I look back on my past before I read this passage I was embarrassed. Embarrassed and angry and ashamed, and for a long time I distanced myself from anyone who knew me at that time because I was embarrassed and ashamed of who I was then. It’s hard for me to even talk to my parents about some years of my life because I am still so angry with myself.

But then I look at this passage. Jesus saves them. He saves them and commands that they stay, stay and let the people see what He has done. Stay around the same people who saw how bad they were so that they could see what Jesus can do in someone’s life.

You see if God saves you and brings you out of something, you can’t just run and hide. Your life is a testament to His glory. The fact that you’ve seen bad times and come away from it. That you can be used for His works after you’ve been so far away. That is what brings people to Jesus, not a clean record.

When I look back at my past now I am not ashamed. I am not angry. I am not embarrassed. I am incredibly sad for that girl. Sad for the girl who didn’t know her worth, who strived for the attention and affection of man and not God. Sad for the girl who didn’t know how beautiful the plans God had for her were. But I am also overwhelmed with gratitude that God rescued me so quickly. That He didn’t leave me there. He brought this girl out of her own mess but kept her in the same place so that I can show others that redemption is real. Love is real.

God can turn you around, and you don’t have to leave your small town to have a fresh start. God’s redemption is bigger than the small town grape vine, but you have to get your own ego out of the way and be firm in who He is making you. So don’t wallow in your past and don’t be embarrassed about it. Let God consume that embarrassment, start walking in confidence that God has redeemed you and can use you.

You don’t have to be ashamed. You are redeemed.

Lessons on Love, from my mom.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought it would only be appropriate to y’all about love. I know, so original. However, when thinking about where to go with this, valentines outfit, marriage, God’s love? It dawned on me, while sure, God’s love is the purest, no one has ever embodied that love and walked it out for me like my momma.

True to her southern roots, my mom is fiercest woman you will ever meet that can also make cakes in insane shapes and throw elaborate princess tea parties. She is beautiful inside and out, but Lord she can be scary. (Love you mom) But that fierceness, is backed 100% by her loyalty to protecting those that she loves. My mom is Lily Potter and Molly Weasley mixed together. Although I think if my mom had faced Voldy, it would have been a different story. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, me and JK Rowling are weeping)…

So from my mom to you, here are the top 5 lessons on love.

1. People will tell you who they are, so listen.

My mom was a fierce believer that people will tell you exactly how they feel about you through their actions. If people are playing games with you, not making time for you, and sending you “mixed” (or straight up bad) signals. LISTEN. TO. THEM. I am queen of looking for the good in people of thinking I can “fix” people, and my mom would always tell me, “they are telling you who they are and what you mean to them, listen.”

So when someone starts raising their red flags, wave your white and retreat.

2. Not everyone deserves to know your story.

If vulnerability comes naturally to you, you might be giving too much of yourself to people who don’t deserve it. Not everyone deserves to know all your secrets and intimate details of your life. Find your select few that have earned the privilege of knowing your heart so well and don’t share so much of your heart with everyone.

This is a lesson that took me especially a long time to learn, for a long time I thought vulnerability = intimacy. Like somehow spilling my heart all over people made us closer. But I guarantee you will live life with a lot less heart ache if you stop giving so much of yourself away to people you don’t know well. (Except for a blog on the internet)

3. “I’ll always love you, but I don’t like you right now.”

Just because you get into an argument, or they’re being a butt head, shouldn’t affect the love you have for someone. Lord knows there were many times my mom loved me the hardest when she liked me the least. That’s how love works sometimes. Sometimes when someone is the least like-able is when they need you to lean in love them, and sometimes you just have to love them from the other room.

This is a lesson especially important to carry into marriage.

I love my husband stupidly-silly. I fell hard and have loved him hard from the get go. However, there are days, when my dear, sweet husband, is not my absolute favorite person. (*gasp*) Sometimes he puts his dish on the counter instead of in the dishwasher or complains for the millionth times that I have messed the sheets up while sleeping. And while I love him and would still go to bat for him, I also kind of want to throw something in his general direction. This is what love is like sometimes, you don’t have to be stuck at the hip with someone 24/7 and think that everything they do radiates sunshine and flowers to love them well.

4. Loving yourself is a lot more about who you are, not what you are.

I hope that this encompasses this lesson well enough. My mom always instilled in me that WHAT you are, as far as your circumstances matters a lot less than WHO you are and WHOSE you are.

Your job, your house, your car, or whatever it is will change, but who you are on the inside is what matters. Knowing who you are and being true to that, loving yourself as a child of God, understanding that you will screw up and still be worthy of love. That is what is important.

5. Loving your tribe FIERCELY is the only way to do it.

As I said, my southern momma loves her tribe hard. She has shielded me from so many things. Not to say that I was sheltered, but my mom spoiled me with a Lilly Potter type love. She took the brunt of a lot of hard things for me, made a lot of difficult things easier for me, did a lot of things she didn’t have to do so that I would be a little less hurt. And because of how fiercely she loved her tribe and witnessing how hard she loved her family, it made it impossible for me to love my tribe any other way.

I saw my mom love and protect my dad. Even if we all picked on him, heaven and all it’s angels could not have put a hedge of protection around anyone who said anything ugly about him.

My mom raised three daughters, constantly challenging her own vulnerability with daughters that were so needy of her. She exhausted herself emotionally, being someone who needed alone time, and often sacrificed it to us. She showed us, day in and day out, what selfless love really looked like.

This lesson is kind of the epitome of all the other lessons, you find your tribe, you share pieces of yourself and learn pieces of them, intertwining your lives together. You love them hardest during their most difficult times, which means sometimes you give them space and hold your tongue. Other times you tell them the hard truth when no one else loves them enough to give it to them. You hold true to who you are and love yourself, which makes you a consistent source of love and honesty to those around you. And you love, you love your tribe so hard that they grow up to be fierce lovers too.

This is to all you moms. You fearless, fierce lovers. You give so much, and the world is better for the love you give. Thank you moms, for teaching us how to love our people so well.

And thank you to my mom, for teaching me the hardest lessons, and for loving me so fiercely. You deserve all the awards. I hope you know how much you rock and even if you question sometimes how well I soaked in those lessons, I hope you see how many of them stuck in the way I raise my own daughter. I’ll make sure she always knows you get the credit for how awesome her mom is. I love you dearly.

Where ministry, laundry, and life meet.

Have you ever gotten caught up in what comes next and completely ignored the now?

I have this endearing (re: annoying) quality where I am constantly ready to jump into something new. My husband sometimes gets aggravated that I rearrange our house once a month, my parents saw this in me having a new “plan” or passion anytime I heard an exciting speech. I am actually constantly annoyed with myself because for someone who feeeels so many feelings about so many things, I don’t get a whole lot accomplished.

Despite having one of my dream jobs and having every opportunity to pursue further endeavors in exactly what I want to do, the minute I hear a passionate speech by someone else on, lets say for example, being a missionary in Gaza… my heart starts turning and I am suddenly wondering why I am not a full time missionary and wondering how I can convince my husband to get on a cargo ship and live as missionaries.

My mom (hey mom) is probably ready to roll her eyes so far back into her head she can see the past every time I give her a very impassioned speech about what I am going to do with my life, how I am going to blog, start a ministry for young women, become the Methodist Beth Moore, you know, simple stuff. But I someone told me something recently that really resonated with me.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. (Thank you Jordan Page from FunCheaporFree)

What does that translate to?

You don’t do anything big in one day. You take steps, some bigger than other, but steps. No one that you follow on instagram, youtube, Forbes, etc. built what they do in one day. You don’t build a blog, start a ministry, create a house you want to live in or raise a kid in one day. You do it one step at a time.

The bigger question? How do you take steps in all those directions at the same time? How do you take steps towards building a blog and a brand, actively building a ministry, raise a child, and take care of your home and husband like a Proverbs 31 woman at the same time without stumbling like you are in some awkward three-legged-race?

The answer? You don’t. It will be awkward. You will trip sometimes (Excuse the overplay of this analogy), you will take more steps in one direction than others sometimes, and you will definitely need to cover more distance in one direction than others sometimes.

Juggling all these different duties and passions at once can be difficult. And if you are like me, Enneagram type 3w2, then you will find in more difficult than others to stay on track.

I recently talked about a 3 month challenge on Instagram. Picking your lanes, your main duties/tasks, the top things you are wanting to progress in and setting attainable steps you can take in three months to avoid passing those months and arriving exactly the same and wishing you had done something different.

So what are mine? Home, Health/Fitness, Bible Study/Reading, and Mom.

Don’t worry I didn’t forget my husband in there, but trust me, clean house, happy, fed baby, and happy, fed, Bibled’up wife = happy husband. I promise, he suffers not.

What are my steps? First off, I have made no specific time stamped steps like “do this every morning” or anything like that, hasn’t worked for me in the past and no matter how passionate I feel right now I know it wont stick. Play to your strengths here.

So Home. My every day steps are..

  1. Clean up after yourself. This is for me and Dustin. We both get stressed when our house is a wreck, so we are dividing and conquering and making sure we pick up after ourselves and cleaning up after Zoe anytime she is asleep. So far, so good.
  2. Laundry. Jesus be near. This will be the straw that breaks this camels back. I struggle with laundry. Partly because I am holding onto clothes that are comfy but should not be worn anymore. Partly because we forget to change the clothes over and rewash the same clothes 4x before we put them in the dryer and then they stay in the dryer until someone gains the strength to move them to their resting place on the couch….where they will stay until Dustin bugs me to fold them, we have people come over, or they all get worn. So we are both tackling this and making it mandatory to fold and put away one load of laundry every day.


  1. Bleh. I hate to make another unrealistic fitness goal but something must be done about this 10 lb holiday weight that carried into the new year. Curse you cornbread dressing. However, I am making it a point to limit fast food to once a week. Easy enough. This is better for the finances too.
  2. MOVE YA BOOTY. I am making a serious effort to move more every day. Whether that means a walk or running around in the back yard with Zoe, an actual workout, dancing with the Fitness Marshall (check him out on Youtube), or at least just stretch or stand while I work instead of sit all day. Just an effort to move more every day. That is it. Like I said, we are taking small steps, not leaps.

Bible Study/Reading

  1. This one is simple. Read something every day. This one has been easy to stick to. Whether I finally read one of those many devotional emails I am subscribed to, reading the SheWorksHisWay devotion app (reccomend 100%), reading a bit of one of the books I am working on. Whatever. Just reading every day.
  2. Making time to study the Bible in depth a few times a week. Staying more on track with the SheRefined plan. I have kept up with this but sometimes I slack on actually digging in, so I am making an effort to get back into this practice.


  1. Make time every day, no phone, not even for pictures, to play with Zoe one-on-one. This has been so great for both of us so far. Leave my phone in another room and just play with my daughter. If you have kids, please do this. It isn’t just for them, it’s for you. Take time to notice everything, how much their hair has grown, count their teeth, remember their giggle and cheesy grins. Take it all in.

And that is it, those are my steps. I challenge you to think about something you would like to be closer to achieving, something you want to be better at, an opportunity you would like to take, anything and come up with some steps you can do every day or week for the next three months. See what you can do!

I am including some screensavers I have been using on my phone and apple watch to help remind myself every day to be focusing on these small steps. If you have Instagram, go follow me there and lets encourage each other! In three months you will be so happy you are a little further than you were before.


Holiday stress is such a real thing. I mean let’s just be honest, there is SO much pressure. All the cooking, baking, dressing nice, trying to keep the house clean, shuffling back and forth to all the places, budgeting for presents and holiday shopping, maintain your fitness and health goals, deal with inevitably you or your family (or both) being sick at some point; and try to just keep your head above water. 

Anybody else relate? My to do list is usually so overwhelming that I stop keeping one and just turn on autopilot until January. Then I get to January burnt out, emotionally drained, and physically beat down from not taking care of myself and focusing on the wrong things. 

Don’t get me wrong, all the things I listed are important bullet points on the holiday to do list and I’m not saying you should knock any off just yet. What I HAVE found; and what I am BEGINNING to learn, is that the holidays are (as we all know) about being thankful for our families and for God. We are meant to be focusing on those things. So while just realistically there will be stress. I have found that it is so much better for everyone when I focus on the WHY of the season. 

Maintaining your health and fitness. 👈🏼 important. Not so you can look good in the holiday dress. But so you feel good, get sick less, and have energy for everything you’re doing! A 3 month sugar binge is not going to keep you fueled and happy. Make good choices when you can, enjoy yourself at events, and remember your WHY. 

Budgeting/holiday shopping 🛍 👈🏼 I love shopping for people and finding their perfect gifts! But my WHY is to let the people in my life know how special they are to me. But you should NOT let gift giving stress you out or empty your accounts. Set your budgets and work within them. Even if that means you don’t do physical gifts. Give the gift of time or service. 🙌🏼

Being sick 🤒 this, at least for our family is inevitable. But in our house we take sickness like a rainy day and just get through it. At the first sight of sickness we buckle down, the person exhibiting signs of sickness immediately gets lots and lots of rest and fluids, we diffuse oils in our house, disinfect; and we take medicine like clock work. Don’t let sickness put you on the couch for days. Do what you have to do to get better. 

Most importantly, don’t let your personal care slack off. Take your bubble baths, do your Bible study, bake; whatever it is that helps you get recharged. Keep your focus! I am right there with you momma. We’re all walking through the holiday seasons together and I see you, tired momma; you got this!