Have you ever found yourself searching for a tribe that will lift you up in your life and walk with God only to find yourself pouring into friendships that leave you empty?
“Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in;
hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.” Psalm 107:4-6
I spent years hungry and thirsty for friendships that would pour into me and support me. After tons of toxic relationships that left me empty, wanting, and lonely I finally stopped looking. Finding a good friend is similar to finding a good partner, the best ones you find when you aren’t trying to force them. When you stop trying to force a friendship just for the sake of having someone to do things with and wait for the friends that God puts in your life that’s when you find the long lasting, fruitful friendships.
I stopped looking for friends. And I was lonely for a really good while. I leaned into my marriage, leaned into the loneliness and focused on the relationships I did have that we’re good. I stopped pouring myself into the friendships that didn’t return the same. And I’m not gonna lie there were lots of lonely times, looking on Instagram and fighting feelings of jealousy but realizing just like with all seasons of life, if you focus on what you’re supposed to then God will lead you to the things that are for you.
And He did.
I have found some really great friendships. My tribe is small and still growing, but I have found real friendships with people that God had has put into my life and people that were already there.
Sometimes friendships are unconventional. I have found some of the best, truest friendships of my life in women and men of all generations from my church.
Now I’m still lonely sometimes. But ya know what? Loneliness isn’t always a bad thing. God can use loneliness to draw you near to Him. When I’m lonely, I draw nearer to God, to my husband, to my family. When I’m lonely I fill myself with His word, with His companionship, with His love.
And a little alone time does a soul good. I watch YouTube videos, I listen to podcasts, I spend a little time with myself. I’m an extroverted introvert. I love being around others but I’m restored with alone time and time with my husband and daughter. I encourage you to spend some time being lonely, allow yourself to lean in on God and spend some time with things that fill you up. You’d be surprised how fulfilling time alone can be. And how God will bring you your tribe when you spend time with Him.