Mark 5:1–20 (ESV): They came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gerasenes. 2 And when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit. 3 He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, 4 for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. 5 Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones. 6 And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him. 7 And crying out with a loud voice, he said, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me.” 8 For he was saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” 9 And Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” He replied, “My name is Legion, for we are many.” 10 And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country. 11 Now a great herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, 12 and they begged him, saying, “Send us to the pigs; let us enter them.” 13 So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out and entered the pigs; and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned in the sea.

14 The herdsmen fled and told it in the city and in the country. And people came to see what it was that had happened. 15 And they came to Jesus and saw the demon-possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. 16 And those who had seen it described to them what had happened to the demon-possessed man and to the pigs. 17 And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region. 18 As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. 19 And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” 20 And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled.

Okay, bare with me, because that is some seriously weird scripture. Arguably the weirdest, even surpassing Abraham marrying his sister. (Read the Bible guys, it’s some juicy stuff.)

So let’s try to break this down a little bit, basically there’s this guy. He’s demon possessed, going crazy, and then Jesus comes to town. Jesus drives out the demons into a heard of pigs and they then commit suicide. Which isn’t really relevant to my story here but it’s just so crazy I couldn’t leave it out.

So these men are past the point of saving in most people’s eyes. They are just going mad with the evil consuming them. And Jesus saves them.

Why is this story different than other redemption stories in the Bible? Because after Jesus saves them, they want to go with Him, and Jesus tells them no. He tells them they must stay and let people see what He has done.

When I look back on a few years of my life I feel like those men. So far gone that I was begging Jesus to save me. When I look back on my past before I read this passage I was embarrassed. Embarrassed and angry and ashamed, and for a long time I distanced myself from anyone who knew me at that time because I was embarrassed and ashamed of who I was then. It’s hard for me to even talk to my parents about some years of my life because I am still so angry with myself.

But then I look at this passage. Jesus saves them. He saves them and commands that they stay, stay and let the people see what He has done. Stay around the same people who saw how bad they were so that they could see what Jesus can do in someone’s life.

You see if God saves you and brings you out of something, you can’t just run and hide. Your life is a testament to His glory. The fact that you’ve seen bad times and come away from it. That you can be used for His works after you’ve been so far away. That is what brings people to Jesus, not a clean record.

When I look back at my past now I am not ashamed. I am not angry. I am not embarrassed. I am incredibly sad for that girl. Sad for the girl who didn’t know her worth, who strived for the attention and affection of man and not God. Sad for the girl who didn’t know how beautiful the plans God had for her were. But I am also overwhelmed with gratitude that God rescued me so quickly. That He didn’t leave me there. He brought this girl out of her own mess but kept her in the same place so that I can show others that redemption is real. Love is real.

God can turn you around, and you don’t have to leave your small town to have a fresh start. God’s redemption is bigger than the small town grape vine, but you have to get your own ego out of the way and be firm in who He is making you. So don’t wallow in your past and don’t be embarrassed about it. Let God consume that embarrassment, start walking in confidence that God has redeemed you and can use you.

You don’t have to be ashamed. You are redeemed.

Have you ever gotten caught up in what comes next and completely ignored the now?

I have this endearing (re: annoying) quality where I am constantly ready to jump into something new. My husband sometimes gets aggravated that I rearrange our house once a month, my parents saw this in me having a new “plan” or passion anytime I heard an exciting speech. I am actually constantly annoyed with myself because for someone who feeeels so many feelings about so many things, I don’t get a whole lot accomplished.

Despite having one of my dream jobs and having every opportunity to pursue further endeavors in exactly what I want to do, the minute I hear a passionate speech by someone else on, lets say for example, being a missionary in Gaza… my heart starts turning and I am suddenly wondering why I am not a full time missionary and wondering how I can convince my husband to get on a cargo ship and live as missionaries.

My mom (hey mom) is probably ready to roll her eyes so far back into her head she can see the past every time I give her a very impassioned speech about what I am going to do with my life, how I am going to blog, start a ministry for young women, become the Methodist Beth Moore, you know, simple stuff. But I someone told me something recently that really resonated with me.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. (Thank you Jordan Page from FunCheaporFree)

What does that translate to?

You don’t do anything big in one day. You take steps, some bigger than other, but steps. No one that you follow on instagram, youtube, Forbes, etc. built what they do in one day. You don’t build a blog, start a ministry, create a house you want to live in or raise a kid in one day. You do it one step at a time.

The bigger question? How do you take steps in all those directions at the same time? How do you take steps towards building a blog and a brand, actively building a ministry, raise a child, and take care of your home and husband like a Proverbs 31 woman at the same time without stumbling like you are in some awkward three-legged-race?

The answer? You don’t. It will be awkward. You will trip sometimes (Excuse the overplay of this analogy), you will take more steps in one direction than others sometimes, and you will definitely need to cover more distance in one direction than others sometimes.

Juggling all these different duties and passions at once can be difficult. And if you are like me, Enneagram type 3w2, then you will find in more difficult than others to stay on track.

I recently talked about a 3 month challenge on Instagram. Picking your lanes, your main duties/tasks, the top things you are wanting to progress in and setting attainable steps you can take in three months to avoid passing those months and arriving exactly the same and wishing you had done something different.

So what are mine? Home, Health/Fitness, Bible Study/Reading, and Mom.

Don’t worry I didn’t forget my husband in there, but trust me, clean house, happy, fed baby, and happy, fed, Bibled’up wife = happy husband. I promise, he suffers not.

What are my steps? First off, I have made no specific time stamped steps like “do this every morning” or anything like that, hasn’t worked for me in the past and no matter how passionate I feel right now I know it wont stick. Play to your strengths here.

So Home. My every day steps are..

1. Clean up after yourself. This is for me and Dustin. We both get stressed when our house is a wreck, so we are dividing and conquering and making sure we pick up after ourselves and cleaning up after Zoe anytime she is asleep. So far, so good.
2. Laundry. Jesus be near. This will be the straw that breaks this camels back. I struggle with laundry. Partly because I am holding onto clothes that are comfy but should not be worn anymore. Partly because we forget to change the clothes over and rewash the same clothes 4x before we put them in the dryer and then they stay in the dryer until someone gains the strength to move them to their resting place on the couch….where they will stay until Dustin bugs me to fold them, we have people come over, or they all get worn. So we are both tackling this and making it mandatory to fold and put away one load of laundry every day.

Health/Fitness

1. Bleh. I hate to make another unrealistic fitness goal but something must be done about this 10 lb holiday weight that carried into the new year. Curse you cornbread dressing. However, I am making it a point to limit fast food to once a week. Easy enough. This is better for the finances too.
2. MOVE YA BOOTY. I am making a serious effort to move more every day. Whether that means a walk or running around in the back yard with Zoe, an actual workout, dancing with the Fitness Marshall (check him out on Youtube), or at least just stretch or stand while I work instead of sit all day. Just an effort to move more every day. That is it. Like I said, we are taking small steps, not leaps.

Bible Study/Reading

1. This one is simple. Read something every day. This one has been easy to stick to. Whether I finally read one of those many devotional emails I am subscribed to, reading the SheWorksHisWay devotion app (reccomend 100%), reading a bit of one of the books I am working on. Whatever. Just reading every day.
2. Making time to study the Bible in depth a few times a week. Staying more on track with the SheRefined plan. I have kept up with this but sometimes I slack on actually digging in, so I am making an effort to get back into this practice.

Mommin’

1. Make time every day, no phone, not even for pictures, to play with Zoe one-on-one. This has been so great for both of us so far. Leave my phone in another room and just play with my daughter. If you have kids, please do this. It isn’t just for them, it’s for you. Take time to notice everything, how much their hair has grown, count their teeth, remember their giggle and cheesy grins. Take it all in.

And that is it, those are my steps. I challenge you to think about something you would like to be closer to achieving, something you want to be better at, an opportunity you would like to take, anything and come up with some steps you can do every day or week for the next three months. See what you can do!

I am including some screensavers I have been using on my phone and apple watch to help remind myself every day to be focusing on these small steps. If you have Instagram, go follow me there and lets encourage each other! In three months you will be so happy you are a little further than you were before.

   

Holiday stress is such a real thing. I mean let’s just be honest, there is SO much pressure. All the cooking, baking, dressing nice, trying to keep the house clean, shuffling back and forth to all the places, budgeting for presents and holiday shopping, maintain your fitness and health goals, deal with inevitably you or your family (or both) being sick at some point; and try to just keep your head above water. 

Anybody else relate? My to do list is usually so overwhelming that I stop keeping one and just turn on autopilot until January. Then I get to January burnt out, emotionally drained, and physically beat down from not taking care of myself and focusing on the wrong things. 

Don’t get me wrong, all the things I listed are important bullet points on the holiday to do list and I’m not saying you should knock any off just yet. What I HAVE found; and what I am BEGINNING to learn, is that the holidays are (as we all know) about being thankful for our families and for God. We are meant to be focusing on those things. So while just realistically there will be stress. I have found that it is so much better for everyone when I focus on the WHY of the season. 

Maintaining your health and fitness. 👈🏼 important. Not so you can look good in the holiday dress. But so you feel good, get sick less, and have energy for everything you’re doing! A 3 month sugar binge is not going to keep you fueled and happy. Make good choices when you can, enjoy yourself at events, and remember your WHY. 

Budgeting/holiday shopping 🛍 👈🏼 I love shopping for people and finding their perfect gifts! But my WHY is to let the people in my life know how special they are to me. But you should NOT let gift giving stress you out or empty your accounts. Set your budgets and work within them. Even if that means you don’t do physical gifts. Give the gift of time or service. 🙌🏼

Being sick 🤒 this, at least for our family is inevitable. But in our house we take sickness like a rainy day and just get through it. At the first sight of sickness we buckle down, the person exhibiting signs of sickness immediately gets lots and lots of rest and fluids, we diffuse oils in our house, disinfect; and we take medicine like clock work. Don’t let sickness put you on the couch for days. Do what you have to do to get better. 

Most importantly, don’t let your personal care slack off. Take your bubble baths, do your Bible study, bake; whatever it is that helps you get recharged. Keep your focus! I am right there with you momma. We’re all walking through the holiday seasons together and I see you, tired momma; you got this!

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